I've lived in 9 places in 5 years, but I never figured that moving into St.Louis would be the hardest of all the moves....
Late on the last day of July I finished my month long road trip and moved into my buddy John's house in St.Louis to start my first job the next day. It was a hasty move and I just brought what I needed from home to survive. Over the next couple weeks I ran back and forth to home a few times grabbing my remaining items. I soon possessed what I needed for surviving, yet I was far from equipped for living.
In the following months the move to St.Louis and the foray into adulting proved quite difficult and it is only now at the time of writing that I feel myself coming over a bit of a hurdle. For the first couple of months I found myself driving nearly every weekend to Kansas City to hangout with my friends. After graduation is seemed that everyone moved to KC and I didn't know anyone in St.Louis. This began to drag on me considerably and my isolation and loneliness started to explode. It probably didn't help that the few people I knew where always busy or that my roommate (great friend) worked the night shift. It reached a crux after one night at the local catholic young adult group where I once again failed to materialize a friendship that I said to myself "enough is enough!"
"Hold on a second, what happened to the John I know?", I thought, "He would totally just take charge of this situation and make friends dangit!" I felt like God was testing me, asking me to trust him and the gifts I've been given to make a go of things. He wanted me to walk my own path, not anothers. To stop relying on young adult groups and my friends a mere train ride away for comfort. So I made up my mind then and there that I would just start hosting my own parties, finding my own groups, and ruthlessly hunt down the people that were worthy of my friendship. It did not start according to plan.
The first party that I hosted there was exactly one person that showed up: my roommate. We had a smashing good time the two of us and were completely unphased by the failure. I started going to new and strange things to uncover interesting interactions; a pick up climbing gym session, a Lord of the Rings book club gathering, jui jistu class, bible study groups, and a concert or two. Slowly I started to meet the right people and started to build a solid social life. Then momentum really started to pick up; I hosted a few big parties, played some intramural sports, and met some fun extroverts.
At the time of writing today I've just gotten back from a dear friends wedding and was invited over to a very nice family's house for dinner and some games. It feels like St. Louis is really starting to welcome me and extend her arms. I've made some great friends already and I finally feel like the John I used to know who was unafraid to take big scary risks is returning in full strength. Here is where I would pin-point the change; I made 2 or 3 really good friends first. (Now, its kind of cheating because I had some great friends before moving here, but they are established and very busy so it's been hard to see them with high regularity.) A ton of fun people is something an extrovert can quite easily find if given time; but the chief flaw is usually a lack of depth. So I built my house on solid ground and invested heavily in growing the few friends I knew so that the network of friends I developed would be life giving. Now my friends introduce me to other friends who introduce me to their friends all because it is known what I am looking for.....a good friend.
As far as what is coming up...I've been up to a LOT of crazy shenanigans in the last few months each deserving of its only lengthy story so I think a resurgence is well due. Like the time I changed my car's CV axles in a parking lot the night before thanksgiving when I was going to drive 14 hours to Alabama or the time I broke a toe doing a keg stand at a Christmas party then went to my first Jui Jitsu class two days later or maybe the crazy time 8 guys and I spent two days busting out over 20,000lbs of concrete to build a new retaining wall.......
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